


Find Me Under The Light of The Moon

by kuroimiya



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Hongjoong is in so much pain i am so sorry, M/M, Rated M for feelings after death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroimiya/pseuds/kuroimiya
Summary: In which Hongjoong can’t sleep, and Seonghwa lies a lot.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 34





	Find Me Under The Light of The Moon

Hongjoong woke up abruptly at exactly 3:03AM. The chills from the night crept deep into his bones and he started to shiver. 

_ It’s happening again.  _

He can’t remember the last time he had a decent amount of sleep. After waking up, it feels like he hadn’t slept at all during the night. It’s all very exhausting and every day feels like a repeat. A broken clock. Waking up is the hardest part, knowing he has to go through it all again.

There was an emptiness in the room, and in his heart. As he stared at the ceiling in the dark, it seemed all too ready to consume him. He promptly shut his eyes to calm his thoughts. 

He could feel the shivers starting to course through his veins when he felt arms tighten around him. 

“Hello beautiful,” The voice was deep and raspy, but very soft and gentle. Hongjoong turned to look at his side, to where the voice came from. “Why are you not sleeping?”

The eyes looking at him were lovely. He melted instantly. 

“Hi handsome.” He whispered with a small, sad smile. “I don’t know.”

The other gave him an understanding nod and an empathetic smile. “Come here,”

His arms pulled him in easily. Strong and sure, with the gentlest and warmest touch. Hongjoong moved to press his whole body against the other and bury his face in his neck. It was his favorite scent. After a little bit of adjusting, he ended up with a strong arm cradling his head and another around his back. One of his own was against the man’s broad chest and the other was softly clutching at his shoulder. Their legs ended up tangled with each other, sharing comfort and warmth under the covers. 

They lay in each other’s warmth for a while, enjoying the sound of each other’s breathing and letting them fall in sync. It was the other who broke the silence, and Hongjoong smiled, secretly indulging in the deep vibrations when he spoke.

“Did anything trouble you today?” 

“No.” His voice was no more than a whisper. He doesn’t really trust himself to speak when he’s feeling like this. “But I missed you a lot,”

The hand on his back started to rub up and down, gently massaging with his fingers.

“I’m here, beautiful. I’m always here. With you, in your heart,” The other then laughed softly. “You should know, you’re the one who keeps me there,”

He chuckled a little bit and jokingly hit the other’s chest. “Like you’re not the one who wanted to be there.”

“Look at yourself. I would gladly throw myself at you and I did. I still have no regrets. I know for sure I never will,”

Hongjoong hit him again and grinned. “Don’t overreact.”

The hand cradling his head then started to play with his hair, running through the light blonde strands and massaging his scalp softly. 

“You should sleep,” the other whispered. His voice was comforting and it warmed his heart like nothing else can. 

“If I sleep, will you be here in the morning?”

The other stilled for a fraction of a second, before continuing his ministrations. “Of course, beautiful,”

Hongjoong has heard this a thousand times before and he knew it was a lie, but he’s also learned to accept the lies. 

“Okay. If you’re not here I’ll throw out your favorite shoes,” He forced a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood and ignore the tightening grip on his heart. 

“You wouldn’t dare. I’ll kiss you until you can’t breathe and concede defeat.”

“Mmmm I might as well throw it out the window right this second if you’re gonna kiss me because of it,”

Hearing this, the other pushed him away a little bit and made a scandalized face. “Then I might as well just kiss you right now,”

Hongjoong had just started to laugh when the other leaned in and caught his lips. It started out slow and indulgent, then he felt the other’s tongue on his lips and he welcomed it. 

He kisses like a god, and Hongjoong loses it every time. He let out a moan when the other tilted his head and kissed him deeper. 

When he felt the thigh rubbing between his legs, he gasped and bucked his hips involuntarily. He could feel the other smile into the kiss and it was a little bit embarrassing to him, but he knows the other loves it. 

Before it could escalate further, the other gently pulled away from the kiss and gave a quick peck on his lips. “You still feel like throwing out my favorite shoes?”

“No, but I know what my go-to threat is now.” Hongjoong smiled cheekily. His heart was heavy, but for now, at least he has the other to hold onto. 

When the atmosphere had started to simmer down again, he felt tranquility seep under his skin. Sparkly eyes were watching him, a thousand stars in a bed of milky brown galaxy. They have never failed to calm him down, but he didn’t want to calm down. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. 

Now the eyes have turned somber, almost as if he could read the thoughts flying around under Hongjoong’s skull. The hands found their place on his body again, rubbing away his stress and melting away his sadness with a warm touch. 

“You really should sleep. You’ve been missing a lot of sleep.” 

“I know. But I don’t want to,” Hongjoong peered up at him from under damp eyelashes. His eyes have started to water a while ago and he didn’t even realise it. 

“I’ll still be here when you wake up,” 

“You’re lying.” He choked out, despite trying to get closer to the other. There was already no space between them. “You’re always lying,”

The other heaved a deep sigh, almost like he has regrets but his arms around the smaller tighten, embracing him completely. Hongjoong closed his eyes when his vision blurred fully and tears started coming out, fully convinced that tonight may be the night his tears will finally dry up.

“I’m not lying,”

Hongjoong didn’t dignify it with an answer, but a choked sob escaped him, and he made the same useless attempt to cling tighter to the other, clutching at his chest and burrowing into his neck. 

As much as he didn’t desire sleep that night, his very human body didn’t understand it. The warm touches from the other had made it too comfortable and he felt himself slip dangerously close to slumber. Crying has always been exhausting, and tonight is no different. Right at the edge of sleep, he could hear the low voice again, pressed to the top of his head. It was heavy with emotions, but his tired mind couldn’t decode it fast enough before he finally slipped into darkness. 

_ “I love you,” _

———-

  
  


Mornings are the worst parts. In the morning, he’s always alone. His heart dropped when he remembered last night’s touches. It’s always been hard to wake up alone, he thought as his eyes strayed to his bedside table. 

It was a picture of him and Seonghwa, smiling at each other and holding hands, fingers adorned with matching silver rings.

“Happy anniversary, love.” He whispered, to the only person who could hear. “I ordered some flowers for you.”

He played with the ring on his finger. His voice cracked. 

“They’re white roses, your favorite,”

His eyes had started to sting again, and he closed them. If only he could tell these tears to stay inside his head. His eyes then opened to the urn on the shelf, read the inscription on the silver and the dam  _ shattered _ completely.

“Happy anniversary, my Seonghwa,  _ my star _ ,”


End file.
